Confessions of a Ball Addict

My name is Groovy, I’m a ball addict… there I’ve said it, phew. Cant really explain my hopeless fixation 4 dis round rubbery object dat bounces all over d place. Perhaps I dun really hv any 2 call my own (coz neutered) or mayb it just brings out my innate desire 2 gv chase 2 prey, but really dun recall any fox or furry mammal bouncing around in such a frantic manner from my viewings of Animal Planet. Squirrels, mayb?

Bcoz of my compulsion, I’m especially focused on any1 in possession of my ball n will just bout do anything 2 get him/her 2 play fetch with me. As d legal adage goes ‘Possession is 9/10ths ownership’ n in dis instance if u hv d ball, u also get a JRT. Initially, dey seem 2 think its cute but ven dis throw n fetch ritual goes on for >10 min without a break, deir arms will tire n dey soon regret ever picking up my ball in d 1st place. Very persistent n will continue hassling d poor fella 2 throw d ball again n again. Nothing short of an earthquake will divert my attention ven I’m in play mode. Without d ball, it’s a totally different story n I’m more likely 2 just ignore dis people, owners included … very much a Jekyl n Hyde sort of persona.


Here r my collection of balls.

4 d Outdoors
Biggie Ball I – my very 1st ball n 1 of my favs coz d texture is just rite not too soft or hard … perfect 4 prolonged chewing or so I thot. Sadly, it didn’t last very long n hs since been retired 2 d store room as it carries too many puncture wounds from my over enthusiastic gnawing. Owners hd a tough time trying 2 find a replacement n searched high n low at d shopping malls, but 2 no avail. But dey managed 2 find dis…

Biggie Ball II which is now my prized ball. Same texture, slightly smaller with vibrant ring patterns. Hv murdered 1 since n once again owners hd 2 shop frantically 4 a replacement coz without d ball, dey hv no control over me n just cant get me 2 do anything … panic. Lotsa glue was dispensed in trying 2 patch up d holes but dis was only a temporary measure. Nowadays dey r more wary n will not allow me 2 sink my teeth in2 it as b4 …. spoil sports.

Rubber Ball – small, hard, bouncy rubber with a bell inside, my pet trick ball. Extremely chewy n gets me going all d time. Ven I’m overly excited, will den hop around like a demented rabbit … gets on my owners’ nerves ven I’m like dat. Hey, its not my fault dat dogs tend 2 play with unadulterated enthusiasm, blame it on our genes. Nice fit in my mouth n fairly durable. Bell has gone MIA.

Tennis Ball – d good old tennis ball, my owners’ fav coz u cn just bout pick dem up from any nearby tennis courts FOC. No cost, no frantic searching n always readily available. Even d tennis coach provides me with hand me downs every now n den, nice chap with a couple of pooches. Good 4 retrieving exercises n keeps me going 4 awhile but still prefer d other 1s.

4 Indoors
Yellow Ball – very bouncy n achieves good heights. Good foam layer 4 comfortable catches. My in house tennis ball.

Orange Ball – not really a ball but a squeaky plastic toy in d form of a hedgehog. Great 4 chewing but dun bounce or roll so well due 2 odd shape.

Squeaky Ball – light weight, plasticky n squeaks but hs been fairly quiet of late after I sank my teeth in2 it. Ideal 4 in house play coz potential 4 damage 2 household furniture is limited.

Football – imported item stuffed with cotton, hence d limited useful life. Great if u r in2 unstuffing cushions n couches.

Egg – owners tried 2 pass dis over as a ball 2 me but I wasn’t born yesterday. Hv seen dis item b4 at d pasar malam n its traded like a commodity, so it cant b of much use 2 pooches. Very uneven bounce n gvs me a whiplash every time I lunge 2 catch it.

Babble Ball - so called as dis orb actually talks back 2 u if u handle it. Limited vocabulary tho n keeps yelling out, ‘Hey, stop it, Get outta here, Knock it off, Wat r u doing?’. Needless 2 say, not 1 of my preferred balls n also a pretty hard nut 2 crack due 2 its tough casing.

Ball…oon – not really a ball but a kid’s fav all d same. Nice floating action n hang time in air. Good 4 head butting coz no pain on contact. Also perfect 4 slapping ur own face around…just get a hold of d knotted end n fling it n it’ll bounce wildly off ur face from side 2 side, sweet.

Spare Balls – Think my owners hv bcom a little paranoid n hv begun hoarding extras just in case my existing 1s go MIA or hv 2 b retired due 2 wear n tear. Mayb dey shld consult me b4 buying anymore. Just waiting 4 d day ven I grow even taller so dat I can reach d drawer where dese treasures r being kept.

'Makan bola, minum bola, tidur bola, mimpi pun bola...'