Quotable quotes

Doggy 1s
(by Joel Zadak)
‘No, becoz if I ‘drop it’, u r just gonna throw it again.’

‘I’m only waiting tables till I get a callback from Animal Planet, which shld b any day now.’

‘Today I sniffed many dog’s’ behinds. I celebrate by kissing ur face.’ – Anonymous

‘Wanna go outside? Let’s go outside. Cn v go outside? V shld go outside. Hv u been outside?’

‘I dun care how much dey paid 4 d couch. I slept on d old 1 n I’m sleeping on dis 1.’

‘Wat OB class? I was trained on d streets.’

‘Sometimes I feel I’m a JRT trapped in a Bulldog’s body. But den dat goes away n I just sleep d rest of d day.’

Puppy 1s
‘I know I messed up, but people really need 2 realise dat dey cant hv nice things and a puppy.’ – Joel Zadak

Whoever said u cant buy happiness forgot little puppies. – Gene Hill

Puppies r nature’s remedy 4 being unloved … plus other numerous ailments in life. – Richard Allan Palm

There’s no psychiatrist in d world like a puppy licking ur face – Bern Williams

Sassy 1s
If u r a dog n ur owner suggests dat u wear a sweater … suggest dat he wear a tail. - Fran Lebowitz

It is fatal 2 let any dog know dat he is funny, 4 he immediately loses his head n starts hamming it up. – PG Wodehouse

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. N inside of a dog, its too dark 2 read. – Groucho Marx

Scratch a dog n u’ll find a permanent job. – Franklin Jones

Dogs lead a nice life. U never c a dog with a wristwatch. – George Carlin

Lord, make me half as smart as my dog thinks I am. – Anonymous

Q: If u cld choose wat 2 come back as, wat wld it b?
A: A dog, so my wife wld luv me more. – Oscar De La Renta

Women n cats will do as dey please n men n dogs shld relax n get used 2 d idea. - Robert Heinlein

D dog is d god of frolic. – Walt Whitman

Candid 1s
A dog is just a kid with fur. – Anonymous

D reason a dog hs so many friends is dat he wags his tail instead of his tongue. – Anonymous

A dog is 1 of d remaining reasons why some people cn b persuaded 2 go 4 a walk. – OA Battista

... I think v r drawn 2 dogs bcoz dey r d uninhibited creatures dat v might b if v weren’t certain dat v knew better. – George Bird Evans

D dog hs an enviable mind; it remembers d nice things in life n quickly blots out d nasty. – Barbara Woodhouse

‘I dun live 2 play, but I play in order dat I may live n return with greater zest 2 d labors of life.’ - Plato

Wat counts isn’t necessarily d size of a dog in d fight, its d size of d fight in d dog. – Dwight Eisenhower

Dogs dun sweat d small stuff (or anything else!) – Matt Weinstein

Dogs dun bite, ven a growl will do. – Matt Weinstein

Dogs dun get stuck in d negative. – Matt Weinstein

Heartwarming 1s
My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet – Edith Wharton

A dog is d only thing on dis earth dat luvs u more den he luvs himself. – Josh Billings

A dog hs 1 aim in life … 2 bestow his heart. – JR Ackerley

Dogs aren’t our whole lives, but dey make our lives whole. – Roger Caras

U think dat dogs wun b in heaven? I tell u, dey’ll b there long b4 any of us. - RL Stevenson

Old age means realising dat u’ll never own all d dogs u wanted 2. – Joe Gores

4 me, dey r d role model 4 being alive – Gilda Radner

D dog hs seldom been successful in pulling man up 2 its level of sagacity, but man hs frequently dragged a dog down 2 his. – James Thurber

D fidelity of a dog is a precious gift demanding no less binding moral responsibilities den d friendship of a human being. – Konrad Lorenz

There’s no faith which hs never yet been broken, except dat of a truly faithful dog. – Konrad Lorenz

‘Cant u c what I’m trying 2 tell u. If u only knew how much I smell u.’ – Roy Blount

If u dun hv a dog, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with u but there mayb something wrong with ur life. – Vincent Van Gogh

Dogs listen deeply (even if dey dun understand) – Matt Weinstein

Nobody can fully understand luv, unless he’s owned by a dog. – Gene Hill

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, u wld stay out n ur dog wld go in. – Mark Twain

Conversations with dogs

Here's some fav pics of mine which can b rather amusing ven viewed in a different perspective ... a dog's sense of humour is an advantage.

'Woah Taro, wat happened mate...u r way too young 4 wrinkles.'
'Yup, I know... been like dat ever since my owners put me on a diet. But I heard its only a temporary phase.'

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'Hey Yuka, babe alert! Put on ur best smile.'

'Where man, where?'

'Yo, up here. Babes at 1 o'clock high.'

'Check out dat Poodle man...sweet mama. U d man, heh heh ...'

'I know, heh, heh ... nothing like watching d girls go by.''

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'I'm actually 1 of dem sensitive new age guys who enjoys a picnic every now n den.'

'Get outta here.'

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'Ahem dear ... not in front of d kids.'

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'So wat u say, u n I go 4 a movie n a couple of drinks after.'

'(Sigh)...dats all I need rite now, some young punk trying 2 hit on me.'

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'Frankly mate, I dunno if dis business of cleaning out ear wax with ur tongue is wat u really wanna do 4 d rest of ur life.'

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‘U need 2 chill out a bit more, Junior. Being so tense n uptight wun help with d stiffy ears syndrome.’

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'Errr ... who moved my kibble?'

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Groovy, ‘Hah, I’ll just wait behind dis shrub n pounce on him ven he appears!’

Angel, ‘Hah, I’ll just wait behind dis shrub n pounce on him ven he appears!’

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‘Ok, v r left with just u 2. Who’s d smarty pants who actually let all d dogs out?’

‘Yup dats rite, I’m talking to u 2.’

‘Oi, stop looking away, there’s no one else around.’

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Groovy (broken), ‘Babe watch time guys. Check out dat Poodle scooting around on her twinky toes.’

Bailey (rough), ‘Woah yea, there ought 2 b a law against dat!’

Biscuit (smooth), ‘Yup, let me handle dis fellas … in dis park, I am d law.’

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'U keep dis up n it will b d last time I'm ever gonna take u out 4 walkies.'

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'Wish d papparazzi wld go away n leave us alone 4 awhile.'

'Not 2 worry dear, I know exactly how 2 handle dem ... oi bugger off will ya!'

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D catchiest sport in town – Frisbee

Frisbeeeeeee - K9 disc sport

'If dogs cld fly ... my impersonation of a swallow.'

Not my pet sport but enjoy catching a couple every now n den, especially ven other mutts r around … quite possessive of my things even if dey arent actually my fav items. Am a certified ball addict so d frisbee takes a back seat most of d time. Hv also ended up with occasional cuts on my tongue from catching hard plastic discs. Mayb hv yet 2 learn d proper technique of catching dese mini-UFOs. My owners hv switched 2 d softer nylon fabric disc n dis is easier on d mouth, however dese discs r hard 2 find here.

Not an easy sport 2 get stuck in2 n requires great jumping ability n agility on d dog’s part. Also requires coordinated limbs on d owner’s part ven it comes 2 throwing d disc, coz nothing irritates us mutts more den thrown discs which seem 2 flip n flop all over d place n den head straight 4 d drain. Sheesh!

Basically 2 categories of disc sports – distance n freestyle. As d name suggests, d distance event objective is 2 record d most successful catches over a specified distance – short or long. In freestyle, teams r given 1-2 min to perform a routine of acrobatic catches in sync with music. D idea is 2 put in d most innovative n varied jump n catch combinations, well choreographed 2 impress d judges. Very exciting sport with mutts appearing d b flying n managing some impressive hang time b4 plucking d disc from d air.

Hvnt caught many dogs doing it here, perhaps more so bcoz of deir owner’s inability 2 come 2 grips with dis elementary toy. D lack of large open dog friendly spaces also dun help d cause. Hv only seen Hana, Jojo, Hannah and a black Lab attempting 2 go airborne. 2 catch local mutts having a go, check out Frisbee nuts I.

Can b quite a rush if u get it right n just manage 2 connect with a disc which seemed 2 b heading off d radar screen. D ideal game 2 b playing in a park n beach setting, very cool indeed.

'My best impersonation of a kangaroo...'

D coolest sport in town - Agility

Agility 101
My fav sport which involves running helter-skelter, up n over a variety of playground like equipment. D idea is 2 traverse a course made of up 15 -20 obstacles in sequence, in d shortest time possible, with d least faults … 0 faults = Clean Run! Truly demanding sport, combining elements of speed, skill, control n agility.

Pros: D only K9 discipline dat actually encourages running at breakneck speed, hurtling thru tunnels, jumping on n clambering over furniture ensembles … playtime dun get any better den dis! Also an outlet 4 K9s 2 release deir pent up energy n frustration from being on leash or cooped up 4 too long.
Cons: Need 2 b fairly fit 2 enjoy it. Sport is dominated by Border Collies n Shelties. Breeds with high work n play drive will also do well.

Luv d sport coz can really make ur owner look slow n unfit at d same time. Owners will typically struggle 2 keep up with d pace, proving dat 4 legs r always better den 2. Dat said, u’ll hv 2 truly concentrate on ur handler coz only he/she hs 1st hand knowledge of d course sequence, courtesy of a short pre-trial walkthru.

D obstacles

Jumps – make up d d bulk of obstacles in a course so a good spring in ur legs n stamina is essential 2 clear d hurdles consistently. Can get pretty complicated ven d course designer puts together several tricky jump sequences which require deft maneuvering, crossovers n tight turns 2 navigate. Simple obstacle 2 learn but also easy 2 incur faults at …especially in d jump sequences.

Tunnels – most of us luv 2 scamper thru tunnels so shld b a fairly straightforward obstacle. Bcomes more challenging ven placed in a ‘U’ or ’S’ shaped ensemble. Dis den requires d dog 2 learn 2 bounce of d inner walls 2 maintain momentum thru d tunnel n not stall midway. Can b a source of accumulated smells, particularly ven other pooches hv stopped midway thru 2 examine it more carefully n den deciding 2 leave deir mark on it … den it bcoms a potential trap luring other passerbys 2 do d same.

'Hurry up, slow n steady dun work in dis sport.'

D collapsible or chute tunnel is more tricky coz u’ll hv 2 garner enuf momentum 2 push thru bout 10’ of cloth lying on d ground, hence small breeds hv 2 work doubly hard. Dose who enjoy dark n tight spaces shld squeeze thru allrite. Claustrophobic mutts need not apply.

Contacts – comprising of d dogwalk, Aframe n see saw obstacles n named as such as u’ll have 2 place at least 1 paw on d contact portion of d obstacle on d ascent n descent. Designed with d safety of K9s in mind n 2 discourage over enthusiastic mutts from prematurely leaping off d obstacles from great heights. Adds an additional dimension of control 2 dis fast n furious sport as d temptation 2 jump off d obstacle is ever present … more so 4 fast dogs.

Dogwalk – similar 2 traversing up, over n down a long, slim plank but with pace. Least demanding of d 3 contact obstacles tho’ large breeds may need some practice 2 adjust 2 d narrow 1’ walkway. Easier 2 pick up if u hv good awareness of ur hind leg movements.

A-frame – another plank 2 maneuver over, only much steeper at 6‘ high. Requires some run up n momentum 2 drive over d steep incline, den need decent control on d descent so as not 2 miss d contact. Always very tempting 2 jump off d Aframe bcoz of d steep angled slope on d downside. Heavy dogs hv deir work cut out 4 dem.

See saw/ teeter – very tricky obstacle dat moves according 2 ur weight. Need 2 figure out d point ven d plank begins 2 tilt downwards n b comfortable with d moving plank n d crashing of d plank as it hits d ground. D last part gets onto many dogs’ nerves.

Pause table – an out of place coffee table whereby u r suddenly required 2 come 2 a screeching halt on n stay still for 5 secs … involves an extreme change of pace in d midst of tearing thru d course. Hence, faults r common as fast dogs tend 2 overshoot d table or get off too soon. Very testing on my patience.

Weave poles - d most difficult n demanding obstacle as u hv 2 somehow snake n zig-zag ur way in between 12 poles placed in a straight line. Takes lotsa practice 2 get rite n even more 2 do it with velocity. Make or break obstacle coz 1 slip up, 1 wrong entry or 1 missed pole will cost u dearly in any trial.

Agility sessions
2004

'simple homemade obstacles...'

Started off sometime towards d end of 2004 ven I was bout 1 yo with our own homemade obstacles using Ikea shoe rests 2 hurdle, bamboo poles 2 weave n planks 2 dogwalk with. Also got a child’s play tunnel n coffee table 4 pausing on.

Ikea seemed 2 b a cheap n convenient source of alternative furniture which cld double up as agility obstacles. D rest of d obstacles were either too difficult 2 make or cumbersome 2 move around, hence v used d kids’ playground equipment whenever possible 2 practice running up n down d see-saw n slide …. not quite d actual thing but close enuf.

2005
There werent any schools offering agility training yet so v pretty much practiced on our own at a small grassy area at Bangsar Sports Complex. Ppcom commenced classes in March n v joined primarily 4 d use of equipt coz dey had just shipped in a full set of really cool competition standard obstacles. As I already hd a head start, was d only mutt who cld perform most obstacles n was called upon 2 display time n again. D lack of a proper fenced park meant dat off leash work was limited … pity coz off leash runs is ven d real fun begins in agility.

D 1st dog park opened in early 2005 at d roof top carpark of Sth City Plaza … basic cemented area lined with a few agility obstacles. Shame dat it hs since closed down. But v managed 2 sneak in some practice n just 4 fun sessions in between. 1st few sessions were with Jojo, Russell n Taro. Jojo n Russell’s owners were an innovative lot n hd deir own homemade hoop jump, weave poles n see saw … nice. Together, v almost hd a complete set except 4 a proper dogwalk

Park also held a few themed nites in conjunction with d agility sessions n quite a number of dogs turned up n got 2 try out d sport 4 d 1st time.

'Hey guys, dis dogwalk seems a little flat ...'

Remember Russell being a bit nervous in d beginning bout running in front of other mutts but he has since gotten used 2 it n cn now run d entire course off leash. Jojo can do it as well … all at her own pace, of course. Taro d Bulldog does some of it ven he feels like it.

'B4 d start of each session, all k9s sat 2 attention 4 d singing of d national anthemn.'

Petnu, also commenced agility training in an enclosed field which was conducive 4 practicing off leash runs. Particularly enjoy d sprints at d large school grounds with my speedy pals, Junior n Angel. Also got hounded by a few GSDs in d process but dey usually cant keep up with us speed demons.

After several try outs at d homemade equipt, Hana - my Bangsar running mate, was also eager n ready 2 hv another go at agility. With treats as d primary motivator, she hs taken 2 agility very nicely n hs bcom adept enuf 2 do basic demos as well.

'Any longer n I'll b falling off d table....(big yawn)'

Together with Russell, v performed agility demos 4 a few doggie events in d 2nd half of 2005 n dis was a new experience 4 us n entertaining as well. Hope dat d sport will continue 2 grow n cant wait 4 d day ven real trials will b held in dis country. 4 a demo, check out Agility addict I and Agility addict II.

2006 K9 Pets Training Centre in Ikano also organised a couple of agility fun sessions at d gazebo area on Saturday evenings. Glad 2 c dat Ben Ben was still fit n nippy, d only large breed I hv come across who can run d course well. Concrete surface wasnt ideal but it is certainly a novel idea doing agility at a shopping mall n in d public’s view … sweet. Mayb v’ll get 2 c more K9s at malls n public places in d future. 4 a unique bird's eye view of proceedings, c Russell's video vault

MKA commenced their own agility fun sessions at Padang Merbok on Sunday evenings. Dey even hd a homemade triple bar jump ... groovy. Brought down d 3rd pole a couple of times but managed 2 clear it d 3rd time around. Really need 2 stretch 2 clear dis demanding hurdle. Also met a Border Collie, Chester, who only just took up d sport n seem 2 b a keen prospect.

Pdg Merbok is 1 of my fav fields 2 run at coz its a pretty decent size n usually frequented by other K9s as well. Heard dat its about 2 b converted 2 a parking lot, what a shame ... another dog friendly green lung taken away. Dese fields suitable 4 off leash runs r rare enuf as it is.